I was beginning to get worried about his progress and sought help from the group of folks that I am in class with. Padmini quickly and selflessly stepped up to offer support. She started working with Frazier and the Scalar Wave, and also checked in with him to try to help me figure out what he needed to heal. The first time she connected with him, Senor Frazier informed her that he preferred to converse in Spanish, and when she mixed up Senor and Senora, he demanded that she let him talk with her son. We were both tickled at his decisiveness and his authority that he commanded. He had a way of being confident and a little sassy about things. He was always so sure of himself and could engineer his way out of almost anything. He told her how happy he was with me and how much love he felt, but in true animal fashion, shared little about his condition and what would make him better. She scanned him for feelings and sensations, and so we continued to do the best we could. After the first Scalar Wave treatment, he seemed to rally and his breathing improved a bit. But the next day, he was back to the struggling to breathing and gasping breath through his mouth. Padmini talked with him one more time, and I was sending updates daily as I took close care of him.
I was feeding him for the evening, and he was as feisty as ever. He was hungry, grabbing at the syringe with his teeth, which had me worried he'd chomp the tip off before I could blink. I was juggling him and trying to keep him steady and his head relatively still while I juggled the syringe and tried to squirt it in his mouth without squirting too much all the while getting the food into his mouth and not down his front. Worse than a baby! He was struggling and mouth gasping, and then suddenly he thrashed and was gone. The light left his eyes before I could blink. He seemed to have simply choked on his food. Padmini confessed to me later that he had told her that the end was close, but not having had experience with an animal telling her that before she hesitated to say anything. I am so grateful for everything happening exactly as it did.
Eddie and I cried for a while. I sat and held him and Eddie had his arms around me. I finally laid him on the couch wrapped in the towel that I had on my lap to avoid getting Critical Care food all over me, and we sat and cried some more. Bear walked over to the couch and sniffed, and I called his name to keep him from bothering Frazier. Bear turned and looked at me with the most soulful eyes, and laid down on the floor right in front of Frazier. We cried more.
We finally gently took him outside to bury him. We took the dogs out to the yard, and picked a spot next to the yard where he would be safe. The dogs were close, and the horses were on the other side of the fence quietly grazing in the fading evening light. The sky had ragged clouds slipping by overhead. Eddie dug the hole, and I carefully laid him in it, and then began placing the dirt back on top. I could hardly see the tears were so thick. We returned the grass to the top of the hole and then began to cover the space with rocks from a nearby pile. Each rock we placed next to another, and suddenly we noticed they were sparking when we were placing them against each other. Tiny orange sparks in the gathering darkness. We looked at each other in awe, placed another rock, and watched the tiny glowing orange spark glimmer and fade. We placed the last rocks and stood there quietly for a few moments. Suddenly fat rain drops spattered out of the ragged sky like a burst of tears. It lasted less than a minute, and we done. Then we noticed the very first lightening bugs of the season were beginning to sparkle among the horses and the deepening evening. Their tiny lights glimmering here and there and everywhere around us. It was magic, and the perfect send off for Senor Frazier.
Lilith seems ok. Padmini has checked in with her and it seems that Frazier put the duty of caring for me on Lilith's shoulders before he crossed over. He is still around, but she is to care for me. She'd like me to hold her and carry her around with me so that she can look after me. Traditionally chinchillas are not outgoing creatures, so it will be interesting to see how we can do this together. Yesterday I gave her some play time in the play pen and let her have a good long dust bath (she's such a princess, she has to maintain her looks, you know!) and then carried her around the house with me. I have been contemplating how to make a little pouch I can carry her in that she could snuggle into but look out of as I move around. I doubt I'll take her out of the house, though you never know, I know of other people that have done crazier things! I will continue to follow up with her to make sure she is happy. I do not want her to be depressed that she is alone and no longer has Senor Frazier's company. But if she's happy by herself with me, then I'll gladly keep her.
